I like it when I make people laugh.
It makes me feel good knowing I’m responsible for making others feel good. At the same time, those peoples’ laughter feed into my ego. I really start to think that I’m actually a funny person (not funny looking, but I’ll give you that one). But am I really? Should I try hard to be “funnier” (under the impression that I am, at least, a little funny already).
There are multiple instances when I just don’t see it. For example, on a regular basis people laugh at what I say and I’m just like, “That wasn’t meant to be funny” (but I say that in my head, of course). By all means, laugh! Please. I don’t want to ruin the mood. Plus, I’m trying to soak up every opportunity I get, whether or not what comes out of my mouth was actually supposed cause laughter. I myself enjoy laughing, so I don’t want to make it stop. I especially love laughing because I know the harder I laugh, the closer I am to getting those rock hard abs.
Now I’m really worried…Could it be that I’m not funny at all, and I just so happen to come across people with a really bad sense of humor? At certain points in my life, when others start laughing at me (or with me? I always forget which one you want to have), I start to think that they’re only laughing because their humor might be off…which makes it appear that my humor might be on…? Omg, this concern is so petty. I even blabbled about it for so long too. Is this something that I can consider one of life’s dilemmas? Am I allowed to have these feelings? Is this what people mean about having low self-esteem? I’m starting to lose all confidence in myself. What is life? Who am I??