Current Mood: Laughter

I like it when I make people laugh.

It makes me feel good knowing I’m responsible for making others feel good.  At the same time, those peoples’ laughter feed into my ego.  I really start to think that I’m actually a funny person (not funny looking, but I’ll give you that one).  But am I really?  Should I try hard to be “funnier” (under the impression that I am, at least, a little funny already).

There are multiple instances when I just don’t see it. For example, on a regular basis people laugh at what I say and I’m just like, “That wasn’t meant to be funny” (but I say that in my head, of course).  By all means, laugh!  Please.  I don’t want to ruin the mood.  Plus, I’m trying to soak up every opportunity I get, whether or not what comes out of my mouth was actually supposed cause laughter.  I myself enjoy laughing, so I don’t want to make it stop.  I especially love laughing because I know the harder I laugh, the closer I am to getting those rock hard abs.

Now I’m really worried…Could it be that I’m not funny at all, and I just so happen to come across people with a really bad sense of humor?  At certain points in my life, when others start laughing at me (or with me? I always forget which one you want to have), I start to think that they’re only laughing because their humor might be off…which makes it appear that my humor might be on…? Omg, this concern is so petty.  I even blabbled about it for so long too.  Is this something that I can consider one of life’s dilemmas?  Am I allowed to have these feelings?  Is this what people mean about having low self-esteem?  I’m starting to lose all confidence in myself.  What is life?  Who am I??

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